We need to stop othering each other



They want rid of us all.


Oooo punchy title, right? Yeah, I’m going to preface this post by saying it is an opinion piece from my own experiences. I’m not going to be pulling some crazy statistics, but I do hope I’ll give you some food for thought.


So firstly introductions. Hi! I’m Gemma and I’ve been a pole dancer for 14.5 years. I was an instructor for about 8 of those years too. In addition to being a pole dancer I am also a polyamorous, masochistic rope bunny who has been in the world of BDSM for about 7 years.


Even before it was cool (in the pole world) I was a staunch supporter of sexworkers of all kinds. I could never understand why people wanted to distance themselves from poledance origins but I am also autistic so some nuances can quite easily pass me by.


With all this prejudice coming at us from councils trying to

close strip clubs AND BDSM venues maybe this othering

needs to stop’



When I became a part of the BDSM world I started to notice a pattern of behaviour in both elements of my life. While at pole I’d hear sexworkers saying negative things about kinky people then at kink events I’d hear people saying negative things about sexworkers. It became tedious pretty damn quickly! I couldn’t understand this negativity at all. To be honest I still can’t understand it. Now don’t get me wrong this isn’t happening all the time. It’s happening enough for me to be worried though.


With all this prejudice coming at us from councils trying to close strip clubs AND BDSM venues maybe this othering needs to stop’ These pious fools don’t understand our worlds at all, but they are putting us all in danger. Can we actually work together and try and keep our workplaces/venues operating safely? If we keep being so divided, then the councils are going to win, and we will all be in danger.


I will keep supporting sexworkers and BDSM venues as much as I can, but I am just one person. It’d be nice to know there are more like me who want the othering to stop.


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